Pitch/Brief

As we had bad feedback on our first attempt of making our thriller due to a complicated narrative and un-needed jump cuts, we decided to change parts of the storyline so that the narrative would make sense to our audience. It is important that our thriller opening makes sense as otherwise our audience would develop a negative reading of our thriller and will not want to watch it. We have decided to keep the first part of the thriller the same and we are going to change the last bit where the antagonist enters Lucy's house. We will now change the storyline so that the antagonist actually goes upstairs to look at Lucy in the shower. We think that this will build tension in our thriller as our audience will wonder if Lucy will notice he is there. We also believe that him going upstairs to watch her in the shower represents him as more of a stalker and this is clearer to the audience that this is his role in the thriller. We will also include Lucy not getting changed after her shower as it is unrealistic after seeing scary text messages and she is also more vulnerable by not having proper clothes. We will then have a shot where the antagonist has sneaked back downstairs and shuts the door loudly, which then makes Lucy curious to go downstairs. The thriller will include a tense moment of Lucy slowly walking down the stairs which will build tension as she is getting closer and closer to the antagonist and the climax will be the end then there is an over the shoulder shot of the antagonist grabbing her shoulder. This last over the shoulder shot is an effective choice as we believe that the audience are put in her position and they get to experience the same experience as Lucy's. This is what we want to achieve from our thriller as we have set it in a modern day house with a typical teenager, creating the suggestion that it could also happen to the audience. Therefore we believe that ending the shot by putting the audience in her position is a very effective way to end our thriller clip.